Stowed-ton Adventures

5/4/17 Third Session

Dont fuck with Dragons

(warning I had written up a very detailed rebrand basement section then my computer lost it. I really did not want to rewrite the whole thing. Sorry here is a shorter version)

 

This session began with the group needing to clear out one more room in the Redbrand basement. The group put on their capes on, picked the lock to the door, and inside found 4 bug bears beating the shit out of a poor little goblin. The group tried to pretend to have been sent by Teddy, but the bugbears could smell their bullshit so Melfias initiated combat by casting Fearie Fire.  It went terribly. All the bugbears were able to dodge the spell and the only one affected was poor Kragnor who now lit up like a survivor of the Chernobyl disaster. The bug bears surrounded him and beat him within one inch of his life. The group realized they were fighting in tight quarters and ran back into a more open room. The bug bears followed all excited cuase they were currently winning the battle. BUT The tide was about to turn. As soon as they walked into the new room Hermoine paralyzed the shit out of two of them and made another go to sleep. Melfias trying to be an over confident dick tried to play with his food and suggested to one of the bug bears to go look in the monster pit for the run away goblin, hoping the monster inside would eat him. That did not happen. The rest of the group surrounded the paralyzed bugbears. All they could do was watch as halberds, scimitars, and daggers were slowly eviscerating their bodies. The group tore apart the two paralyzed bug bears. At Melfias' suggestion Krangor went off to go and push the bug bear near the monster into the actual pit. It did not go so well and broke his hypnosis and he attacked Krangor knocking him unconcience. Hermoine seeing this happen knew she had to defend her man. She conjured a fire bolt and blasted the bug bears face and dropped him. The rest of the group interrogated the sleeping bug bear who gave very little info and then killed him. They then went and talked to the poor pathetic goblin whose name was Droopy. He had no friends and was a sexual slave for the redbrands in the basement. The group took pity on droopy and Fox asked if he can come wiht us. The group agreed. Melfias then played a bitchin solo on his pan flute to make Droopy feel better and Melfias got his first groupy. 

Krnagor was healed soon after by Melfias and he noticed a treasure box in the monsters pit. Melfias made a deal with the monster to give him bodies for food in exchange for the treasure box. Inside was a Talon Halberd! Krangor took the halberd knowing this was his first magical item ever and he would go on to slay many foes and have great adventures with it!

The group knew it was time to leave and headed back to town. There they went to the mayors house and told him of what they had done to the Redbrands. He was not pleased. Sildar was also there and he was very excited. The group told him about the spider symbol and about glass staff. Sildar went to do more reaserch on this stuff and told the group to go and find a druid at a run down town to get info on Cragmaw Castle.

The group decided to call it a night and went to sleep in their rooms. When Galthetes woke up he found a note signed by TTG to meet him in a back alley behind the inn. Galthetes decided to go and to bring Krangor with him. The rest of the group would be near by in case anything went down. While there Galthetes met two figures in hooded cloaks. They said they had been the ons that really stole his money and they left the red cloth there to give him incentive to go and kill the Redbrands. They gave him back his 29 measly gold. They also said there were prices on his and Alloras head. They wanted Galthetes to work with them to keep the town safe. Galthetes did not trust this but had no real choice and decided to help them out. They said that we should go to Cragmaw castle as well. 

The group packed up their belongs and headed to the town where the lone druid was with no issue. When they arrived they could sense undead, humans, and see a vacant village with a large tower in the back. They decided to head to sneak up to the large tower. When they got close enough they could see a green dragon sitting atop the tower. As Krangor knew draconic the group decided that he should be the one to go and talk to him. He asked the dragon about the druid they were looking for and he said that he had been by recently. They also did not notice this dragon starting to smirk more and more as he gained the groups trust. The dragon invited the group into his tower for a nice friendly dinner and the group being a bunch of dumb asses decided sure why not go eat dinner up close with a dragon who smirks a bunch. 

Inside the group was sat at the finest run down table they had ever seen, with broken chairs and beautiful run down tower decor. The chef dragon offered the best stale bread and rancid milk the world had ever seen. This was a glorious dinner that the dragon obviously put a ton of time in planning for. The dragon was so sweet he even allowed Allora to get up REALLLLLLL close so that she make take some of his venom. The group again found this to be A-OK and got together and watched with excitement as Allora got right next to his mouth to get some of the venomous drippings. Just when Allora was about to get her first drop into the vial… the dragon became not so friendly anymore. It unleashed a huge acid breath attack on the group of dumb asses and melted everyones face off with highly corrosive acid. The only one to survive was Fox who was soon after chased down and destroyed as well.

Well that is the story of a group of dicks that enjoyed beheading anyone that crossed their path, that did a whole bunch of awesome shit, and then got raped in about 5 secs of hanging out with a dragon. THE END. THE SHOW IS OVER!

….or is it….

Out of no where, Krangors fancy new halberd which he never even got to swing, began to glow and shattered into a million pieces. Time magically reversed and the group found them selves back at the beginning of when they first got to town. The group had become slightly wiser and now had a severe case of PSTD of dragons. The group vowed to never go and eat with a dragon again even if it pinky squared double dog promised not to breath weapon their faces.

The group this time started to look into the other houses it had ignored before. Inside one of them they found an old man by peering into his window. The old man peered back very confusingly. The group asked if he was a druid and he said he was. The group introduced them selves and said they heard he could help them get to Cragmaw castle. The druid agreed he could help, but he wanted the group to go and kill the near by dragon on the tower. FOR SOME FUCKING REASON THE GROUP DEBATED FOR ABOUT 10 MINS IF THIS WAS A VIABLE AND OK THING TO DO. IT WAS NOT. THEY OBVIOUSLY HAD LEARNED NOTHING AND WAS WILLING TO WASTE THIER SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE. LUCKILY, the group said they could not do that at all and mentioned that they wanted to go and rescue the dwarf brothers and had talked to Sildar. This made the druids ears perk up and he agreed to help. He gave the group the exact location of the castle, a map, and some other detials, and like that the group was off again.

On their way to the castle the group was attacked by a group of 6 hobgoblins. After their embarrassment at the last area, they were they were determined to redeem them selves by cleaving the faces off all these hobgoblins. Even Droopy got in on the action. The Hobgoblins started things off by rushing up to attack poor Hermoine and Fox. They missed luckily and those two released their counter attacks. Hermoine paralyzed two of them and shocking grasped another that tried to attack her. Fox sent her new bad ass panther Panthery to attack another one. She fired arrows into thier skull. Krangor and Galthetes and Allora jammed their weappons really far up their collective assholes. Melfias did his stuff… you know singing, healing, and debuffing and shit. Whatever that fruit who does no damage likes to do. The group ruined these hobgoblins day. They received another map to Cragmaw castle… but they really didnt need it. The group ended their night at the steps of the castle ready to fight the dangers inside…..

NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z… CRAGMAW CASTLEHAS THE GROUP REALLY LEARNED TO NOT HAVE SIT DOWN DINNERS WITH DRAGONS? MAYBE HOPEFULLY LEVEL 4??? PROB NOT. ARE ALLORA AND GALTHETES REALLY ONLY WORTH A 50 GP BOUNTY COMBINED? THATS PRETTY LOW. THEY MUST BE SHITTY THIEVES. HOW ABOUT THAT AWFUL PICTURE OF MELFIAS ON HIS WANTED POSTED. HE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER THEN THAT. I HEAR HE IS A WARM AND GENTLE LOVER AS WELL. DOES KRANGOR REALLY LIKE CHILDREN OR DOES HE JUST PRETEND TO TO GET INTO HERMONIES PANTS? DOES HERMOINE EVEN WEAR PANTS? THAT HAS NOT BEEN DISCUSSED AND TECHNICALLY SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON NOT WEARING ARMOR AND ONLY ROBES ARE LISTED ON HER CHARACTER SHEET… ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED ON THE NEXT EPISODE!!!!

 

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Kavvo tony588

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