The session opened up with the group wanting to finish clearing out the temple, so they returned to the spider caverns to see what they could find there. The hole of the cavern was very tight and hard to walk along so Gus enchanted the party with spider walk using his spider staff (which we later found out he wasn't supposed to be able to do. opps.) to help the group climb through the tight tunnels. Galthetes and Krangor took the lead in the tunnels and Galthetes used his excellent slight of hand maneuvers to cut down the frozen webs that we came across without alerting the caverns inhabitants.
Eventually the group came to a T intersection and choose a direction to go. As soon as they stepped toward that direction they were surrounded on both ends by 4 giant spiders! Krangor, Fox, and Galthetes fought the spiders on one end, while frail Melfias and Gob were stock on the back end. Fox began the fight by hunters marking a spider and launching an arrow at the spiders abdomen. It was a direct hit and bloodied the spider. Panthony squeezed up to the front and got in a few swipes as well. Galthetes then squeezed with Panthony and was able to precisely attack the bloodied spider and killed him. He then slashed off a chunk of the next spider in line. Krangor then was able to poke to death the last spider killing that side of the spider wall.
On the other end two spiders attempted to web Melfias, but he was able to dodge both attacks. Gob through a few fire bolts to soften the spiders up which allowed the stealthy rogue Allora to come through and save the day. She snuck up to one of the spiders and ripped its body to shreds helping the fragile casters. She then went and killed the last remaining spider ending the skirmish.
The group continued along the path to a spiders nest and found 3 cocoons. Melfias wanted to open the cocoon to see what we be inside, but the females of the group were to scared to play with spiders. Eventually after calling out the nature girl Fox, she relented and slowly cut the cocoon open. In one cocoons was a dead goat of which Galthetes took the horns. In the second cocoon was a dead dwarf miner with a note on him written in dwarvish. In the final cocoon was a barely living woman wearing a symbol of the barbarian horde that the group had fought earlier. Without thinking Fox stuck her in the throat cause fuck her and fuck that group. In the back corner of the room Allora found a wooden paint egg. She opened it to find a delicious gummy candy! The group pressed on and continued exploring. They found a secret exist that brought them outside of the cavern.
They pressed on until they found a big rom with a pillar in the middle surrounded by spider webs. The group began cutting the webs until they were ambushed by a queen frost spider and two normal spiders. The queen was able to web Galthetes in place who struggled to escape from its enveloping grasp. Krangor was able to get some nice hits on one of the standard spider weakening it greatly. Fox and Panthery did the normal arrow claw combo attack and killed one of the spiders. Allora then snuck in and disemboweled another spider and all that was left was teh queen. Melfias being the crafty silver tounged bard he was decided to use vicious mockey to really hurt the spiders feelings. After about 20 minutes he finally released an insult so disparaging and uncouth, that we dare not type the words here. The queen spider was very very sad. The group teamed up to kill her as quickly as they could, but not before she was able to release a deluge of baby spiders that scrambled to cover Gobs face.
Gob started to scream and wither in pain and panic, as his mind raced thinking of ways to get rid of the spiders. He yelled out for someone to hit him in the face to crushed the spiders.
Melfias jumped at this once in a life time opportunity to smack the shit out of Gob. With the utmost confidence and the force of a wet blanket Melfias unleashed a perfect back hand into Gobs smug spider cover face. It made Melfias feel so good to hit Gob that he thought about doing it again just for funsies, but alas they did have to make sure that Gobs face was not consumed by spiders. Melfias drifted off to cloud 9 and thought about hitting Gob in the face many more times and how great and manly it made him feel. It was the first time he had ever actually hit someone with physical force, not just singing at them like some sort of deranged man siren. Melfias, now standing at full mast from causing physical pain to someone, snapped back into reality and the group continued try to kill the spiders munching on Gobs face. Krangor tried to drown them out using his stump cup, Allora tried to wiped them off his face and crush them beneath her feet, Gob tried to use change water to melt the ice around him and grown the spiders on his face, Fox sent Panthony to lick them off his face. Eventually, we were able to kill the swarm of baby spiders much to the pleasure of Gob. The group then went and searched the queen spiders lair and found a sapphire and a potion of crawling. They then returned to the main door surrounded by runes.
Upon getting to the main door the group had to figure out a way to open the door. Gob was able to translate the letter found on the dwarf and it offered a clue stating that the arms of the giants affected the door in some way. Eventually the group decided to try touching the runes with the weapon and decided to have Harshnag touch the frost rune with the frost giants traditional weapon and it worked!. The door became a portal and the group stepped through.
Inside the found the corpse of a dead giant with a morning star and breast plate. As the group approached it a ghost appeared and began to talk to the group. He said he would give the group the location of the actual oracle if they agreed to help him kill his dad, a cloud giant. The group agreed and he said to move his body as the oracle was below him. They did and found an ice mound with a rune etched in. They melted the mount and there was the great oracle. Everyone was allowed to ask one question from the mighty oracle. Fox asked about her finger nails, but got no real information. Allora asked about Cragmaw castle and found out that Morglop was plotting to take over our castle. Galthetes asked who his dad was and found out he was a terrible but amazing entity. Melfias asked about what would be the next step in ending the rampage of the giants and the oracle stated that they must go and visit the leader of the storm giants, but to get there they must get a conch of teleportation which are held by the leaders of the other 5 giant tribes. Also, there were giant artifacts throughout the land and the more artifacts they bring to the oracle to more ways they would have in dealing with the storm giants. Krangor asked if Harshnag would be a new giant king to which the oracle agreed that he would definitely bring peace among the giants. Gob seeking true wisdom asked the oracle if it would rather fight one bear sized duck or 50 duck sized bears. The oracle being overwhelmed with pride and awe for being asked such a succinct question began to open up Gobs soul and allowed his body undergo a transformation. (He got a new mini that actually was of a cool wizard). With the final question asked the oracle went dormant once again.
The group searched the oracles room and found a magic breast plate and a bunch of painted egg like objects. Inside Krangors egg was a tiny mirror. When Krangor looked deep into the mirror he to could feel his souls true form awake and he was born a new in a new form. (He also got a new mini that actually looked like a paladin with a pole arm.)
With all of the business done at the oracle the group took a long rest and continued to leave the temple. When they got outside they found waiting for them an airship being commandeered by a group wearing similar uniforms. They called down to the group inviting them into the boat. Without thinking twice the group oblidged and the session ended…
NEXT TIME ON VORPAL BLADES Z… WAS IT A GOOD IDEA TO GO ON A STRANGE CULTISH AIRSHIP NO QUESTIONS ASKED?!?! PROB NOT BUT FUCK IT!! WILL FOX EVER GET ANY REAL ANSWERS ABOUT HER TOE NAILS?!!? IS MORGRLOP DUMB ENOUGH TO TRY AND ACTUALLY TAKE OVER OUR CASTLE!!!?? ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL A BITCH?! POOR HARSHNAG BROUGHT US TO THE ORACLE AND DIDNT EVEN GET TO ASK A QUESTION. POOR GUY! IS MELFIAS EVER GOING TO GET HIS CHANCE TO KILL SOMETHING WITH HIS BARE HANDS?!!? PROB NOT CUASE HE IS A GIANT PUSSY BUT MAN DID HE LIKE HITTING SOMEONE!! FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF VBZ!!!