AS A TEST TO SEE WHO ACTUALLY READS THIS I WANT YOU TO WHATS APP ME THE WORD SNICKER DOODLE!
The session opened up with the amazing Vorpal Blades heading back to Cragmaw Fort feeling victorious having wiped the floor with Wave Cave Echo and saving another dwarven brother. Upon getting to their fort, they saw over 20 goblins working on putting it back together. One of the goblins then came up to the group demanding they identify them selves. The group told them who they were. The goblin then went and grabbed his boss, Droopy. Droopy had obviously seen a stylist while the group was in wave cave echo becuase he was now decked out in the finest tattered clothes a goblin could buy. He was excited to see his friends return and boasted about the progress that had been made on the fort. He also told them of his dad who had decided to move into the fort as well, Goblin King Moreglop. The group went in to meet this new king.
Moreglop welcomed the group and they discussed the current arrangement of goblins putting Cragmaw fort back together for the chance to make it their new home. The group agreed to give the goblins a wing of the castle in the back if they continued to labor away and reconstruct the fort. Moreglop was pleased with the deal and promised to do his best for the group while they were not there. They also checked in with everyone's favorite goblin chef, Frank!
Frank had been cooking for the new inhabitants of the fort and everyone seemed to be getting along greatly. The group gave Frank another 1800 GP to continue construction on the fort. With a wave the group left their rebuilding fort in the hands of their goblin friends and continued on to go and reacquaint them selves with an old friend…
The group returned to the tower of Venomfang the green dragon. This green dragon had become an obsession of the Vorpal Blades, ever since he invited them in for bread and moldy cheese once. Instead of being a gracious host, he spit poison in everyones faces and killed the group. Luckily, a bit of DM magic allowed the group to go back 30 mins in time to learn from past mistakes at the cost of a magical halberd that the group just received. Now the group had become more powerful and were ready to rain down holy hell upon this green dragon. But, it would not be easy, for the green dragon is crafty and full of wit.
The group debated how about to get the dragon down to ground level and came up with the most insidious of ideas… that was destined to fail. They tried it anyway. Fox, being the badass ranger she was, cast Pass Without a Trace to make the group more stealthy so they could lay in wait for an ambush. Galthetes, Allora, Gob, Fox and Pantherny hid around the entrance to the fort in the heavy brush while Melfias and Krangor went up the path to talk with the green dragon. Gob made an illusion of treasure near them and Melfias and Krangor offered it to the dragon if he would leave the tower. At that time silly Galthetes made a little to much noise and the dragon was aware of his presence… also the dragon had noticed the fact that the treasure was an illusion. Krangor and Melfias tried to convince the dragon to come down and to take the treasure as a sign of good faith that he would leave. Melfias and Krangor then walked away saying they would leave the treasure there for him cause they trusted. The dragon repeatedly said he would just take the treasure and not leave. Melfias and Krangor didn't really know what to do so they just walked away and hid. At this time, Galthetes realized the dragon kept looking in his general direction, so he decided to give up his position and pretend like he had a little more to add to the treasure and so he could run away and stealth with the group as well. The dragon looked a little dumbfounded at the situation and attitude of the group but still did not come down from his high perch on the tower.
The group waited an hour for the dragon to take the treasure while they lay in wait for an ambush. He never moved from his spot and instead started juggling rocks to pass the time. Finally, Galthetes had had enough and wanted to force the dragon to move away from the tower. Melfias' had been dropped on his head multiple times as a child forgot he had learned the spell shatter which would have made quick work of the support walls of the tower. Instead, Galthetes went the low tech route and began to walk right to the tower. He planned on smoking out the dragon by throwing flasks of oil and his torch to start fires. Eventually the dragon got pissed enough to begin his assault.
Galthetes first coarse of action was to run into the tower as to get far away enough from the group so they were not all hit by the poison breath that he knew the dragon possessed. Fox still hiding in the bushes shot a couple of arrows at the dragon and then commanded Pantherny to run into the tower with Galthetes to help him out. Gob attempted to launch some scorching rays at the dragon, but they all missed. Melfias remembered he had shatter and blew apart the front door of the tower, making it easier for people to run and begin attacking the dragon. He also hurt the dragon a bit with the attack. Allora start to climb up the back of the tower and to the top so she could get the jump on the dragon and put the collar on him. The dragon had waited long enough and now planned on taking out that thorn in his side, Galthetes.
He jumped town from the top of his tower and bellowed out a thick plume of poison spray that covered Pantherny and Galthetes. Galthetes was able to take the hit, but poor Pantherny went down for the count. Krangor saw his friends in trouble and pulled out some of the new tricks he had learned. He misty stepped over the thick brush and ran at the dragon with his trusty halberd and got in a nice attack. The dragon though still had plenty of life in him. Fox continued to shoot arrows at the dragon slowly ticking his health down. Allora was finally in position to spring the groups ultimate trap! She jumped down from the top of the tower down to the dragons back and slammed the collar on him. The dragon was not happy with this new predicament and decided it might be time to run away. Allora was still holding into the dragon like the fearless rogue she was as the dragon began to take off.
The dragon started his attempt to fly away, but was met with Melfias' phantasmal force. Melfias tried to make the dragon believe his wings had melted off and it only slightly worked, but did slow the dragon down for a second. Allora started to fear that she was going to fly off with the dragon where she would be subject to donkey and dragon action from Shrek. Little did she know that the noble paladin Krangor was there and ready to make sure this dragon was not able to escape.
Using his misty step again Krangor was able to teleport him self above the dragon and fell on to its back and was able to balance him self by grabbing a wing. With all of his might he took his halberd and jammed its as far into the dragons back and hit a vital organ. The dragon took significant damage..but it was not over. Krangor then summed up the power of his god to make the hit become a divine smite burning away the flesh around where the halberd entered the dragons body, causing even more damage.
The dragon was starting to waiver. How much more punishment could it take? Krangor didn't give a fuck and was ready to end this now. He pulled the halberd back out of the dragons back and this time slashed for the side of its neck. He again summoned help from the gods and with his glowing halberd he slashed half way through the dragons throat instantly killing it. The dragon began plummeting back to the ground. Allora and Krangor were scared their lives would end from the fall. Luckily, Melfias had kept secret another spell he had also recently learned called feather fall. He made Krangor and Allora light and float like a feather and they were able to land back on the ground safely. The group had finally did it. They had laid waste to the deceitful, unwelcoming, abhorrent, bitch-ass, dragon! The group wasted no time in dismembering the dragons body. They took the claws to make weapons, the scales to make armor, the teeth for jewelry, and the head to show to the rest of the world how bad ass they were.
The group then ransacked the dragons horde. They found some treasure and scrolls, but also a bunch of rusted weapons. Fox started to feel uneasy about one of the weapons. She could sense it was magical and gave it to Gob to identify. He discovered it was Hue, the plant destroying halberd. Krangor not only was able to make waste of the dragon, but was able to get a new weapon! O happy days for Krangor indeed! Krangor was officially given the title of Dragon Slayer for his bravery and kick ass ability at destroying dragons! Feeling satisfied, the group preceded to the old druids house who wanted the dragon gone in the first place, and left a note and a dragon tooth showing they had taken care of the dragon. They then preceded to Stowedton.
The group arrived at Stowedton with the dragons head on Krangors halberd so they could show it off to the towns folk. Everyone was excited to see and touch a real dragons head and people wanted to have a celebration. The group decided to go on a vision quest fueled by drugs that Fox was able to procure from the forest. The group asked all of their closest friends and allies to come with them. They also brought along alcohol and pizza so people had stuff to eat and drink. They went to a nice mossy hill that Fox knew about and every dosed them selves and let the good vibes roll. Most people dreamed about riches and things that made them happy, except for Melfias who continued to have brutal nightmares. Gob and the group had an intense discussion about ducks, family trees, and money. Everyone just was able to relax for a while thinking happy thought and it brought everyone closer together. The main members of the group did all have one dream they shared. They could see giants in a pit fighting surrounded by storming clouds. What could it mean? Maybe someday we shall see! After the drugs wore off the group returned to town refreshed and ready to take on the world!
The group took this time to work on some of their personal goals. Melfias went out and tried to get loans to help rebuild Cragmaw Fort. He was only able to get around 9000 GP which was only about 20% of what he needed. He will have to continue to whore him self for more money to support the fort.
Galthetes and Gob went to wave cave echo to learn what they could about re-energizing the magical forge. They discovered that its power comes from the cave its self and that roots of energy go deep into the rock. There are currently many roots blocked and if they were able to maybe somehow remove those blockages the forge could become more powerful. Galthetes wanted to do more research so he headed to Neverwinter and to use their library to discover more about powering forges. He did not learn much more.
Gob also helped out with some of the repairs at Cragmaw Fort just to get that moving along. He also went and acted as Su Chef for Frank to help him cook in an upcoming mayoral event. We will get more to that later.
Fox disappeared from the group and went out on a quest of her own. Not much else is known about this, but it probably has something to do with the old druid we met and killed the dragon for.
Krangor started to push his mayoral election campaign into high gear. He discovered he had a challenger that goes by the name Fatman. Fatman was a local farmer and he had gone to Neverwinter to get the Lords Alliance to help Stowedton. He was beloved by many of Stowedton and had grown up there all his life. Krangor met him at his place and challenged him to a debate one week before the election. Fatman agreed. Krangor then went around town doing good deeds, kissing baby, helping orphans, and put up fliers to help his campaign.
Allora being the super sneaky lady she is, went off to Neverwinter to dig up dirt on Fatman. She was able to find out that he might have some shady money and contacts but didnt find anything else really. What she did do instead was forge a letter framing Fatman for the black mail of the old mayor and blaming him for forcing him to leave.
When polling came out it was found that Krangor was losing to Fatman 70/30 in the vote and the most hot topic issue was the fact that Krangor had allowed Goblins to live and work for him over at Cragmaw fort. Most residence of Stowedton hated goblins as they had been attacking them for centuries.
Krangor and Gob decided that they should have a giant benefit for the town and allow Frank to secretly cook for it. They wanted to show the people of the town that Goblins were people and had just as much talent as humans. Melfias also started a Goblin lives matter campaign to help fight goblin discrimination.
Krangor began preparing for the party by getting a new cashmere suit with a purple cape made for him so he looked more mayoral. Gob went and became a Su chef for Frank and helped in cooking his feast of sushi, shrimp, vegetable medley, a surf and turf of swordfish and boar, and sorbet. The rest of the group went and made sure boosters that supported Krangor were at the party. Melfias was put in charge of the bar so he could hob knob with the guests and convince them to support Krangor. He also used his skeleton band to play some great banquet hall music which everyone loved. The party was going great. Krangor was shaking hands and making new friends and people seemed to really support his run for mayor. It was time for the big reveal.
Krangor made a toast and began to talk about how Goblins are people and deserve our respect. Humans should learn to work with them not always attack them. He also said they could be as talented and do things as well as any human. Many people began to become apprehensive. Krangor then went and asked everyone how they enjoyed their meals. The town people clapped saying they thought it was very good. Krangor then went and pulled down the curtains showing everyone who was the true chef of the meal. The town folk were stunned. Krangor told them to realize Frank could be as good as humans at cooking and we should come to peace with the goblins. For a couple of seconds there was complete silence, until Krangors group and their boosters started a slow clap. Which started to build louder and louder until the majority of the room were clapping. There were also some dissenting boos in the crowd as well, but fuck them.
Frank then took the microphone and talked about how his clan had always been peaceful and not all goblins were bad. His people just wanted acceptance from the humans. Some people started to agree with Frank, while others began to leave. Those that stayed were invited to party with the goblin. Melfias then made his skeleton band start to play some up beat techno music. He used prestidigitation to make lights and flashes appear around the dance floor and then Thaumaturgy to really make the beat drop. Everyone that stayed at the party had a great night and the polls the next day showed it, as Krangor was now winning 70/30!
Krangor discovered the letter that Allora had made for him inside the breast pocket of his cashmere suit. He decided to keep it until 2 days before the election. He would then give it to the town newspaper anonymously and hopefully hurt Fatmans chances in the election. With the party done all that was left to prepare for was the coming debate with Fatman. Krangor better go brush up on his debate skills cause Fatman will not be a push over!!
NEXT TIME ON VORPAL BLADES Z!!!!!! KRANGOR THE DRAGON SLATER VS FATMAN THE TUB OF LARD!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THIS BATTLE OF DEBATE!!! WHY DOES THE GROUP KEEP DREAMING ABOUT DAMN GIANTS?!? IS FRANK A GREAT GOBLIN CHEF OR THE GREATEST GOBLIN CHEF EVER?!!? WILL ALLORA AND FOX EVER GET A MAGIC WEAPON?!! HOW IS MOREGLOP GOING TO FUCK THINGS UP FOR THE GROUP!!?? NO WAY HE DOESN'T CAUSE SOME SHIT!! WILL GOB EVER STOP ROLLING 3'S?!? FIND OUT ALL THIS IN MORE IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF VORPAL BLADES Z!