Stowed-ton Adventures

Eight Session 7/15/15

Gourmet Cows and Bitch Ass Wizards

This session opened up with the group taking a short rest to recover from the flaming skull fight. The group was definitely starting to get exhausted after trekking through this mine filled with ghastly horrors for many hours.

They then continued into the next room which looked like a banquet hall with many dead skeletons in it. The group did a quick search of the surrounding bodies. Fox and Krangor went to search one very mysterious looking group of skeletons. Once they got close enough a group of ghouls nearby erupted from a near by area and started their attack on the exhausted group! The ghouls first started to attack Krangor and Galthetes. Little did they know the punishment they would be in for not all attacking Krangor. Krangor made the ghouls really hurt for trying to attack his friends. He slashed them apart with his halberd while Galthetes sliced them up into a nice ghoulash with his cutlasses of light. The few that did attack Krangor tried to poison him but his powerful body was able to fight off the poisons. Fox, Pantherny, and Allora also continued to bring the pain. They brought many of the ghouls to within inches of their life only for Krangor or Galthetes to get the actual glory of the kill. 

Melfias and Gob just chilled in the back lobbing firebolts and making fun of the ghouls moms cause thats what they do. They thought they had it easy. They were wrong. All of the sudden a follower of the house of Cosby dropped from the ceiling. The pudding monster attacked the poor spell throwers who just liked to be annoying dicks and chill in the back. The pudding bitch slapped Gob across the face and he pussied out and ran away. Sildar thinking he was a bad ass attack the pudding by cutting it in half. Sadly, this now created two puddings. Melfias being the brave bard he is decided to up his insult game and made fun of the pudding right to his face. He told the pudding that Bill Cosby loves pudding… pudding his dick where it doesnt belong! The pudding was so distracted he couldn't land a hit on Melfias. Eventually the rest of the group came and stomped out the puddings for the frail magic users. The group, victorious, continued back to the scary pools they avoided so long ago. 

After coming back to the pool the group argued who should go into the dark murky water. They used Galthetes new shining sword of light as a light source, but still could not see the skeleton they knew was down at the bottom of the pool. After some debate, Melfias begrudgingly said fuck it I will go but I am going to bitch the whole time. Allora then took up the mantle and went in with Melfias. They felt along the skeleton and felt something hard stick out form his crotch. They also found some metal rings on his fingers. They grabbed the rings and the hard stick at his crotch and brought them back to the surface. They found the rings to have some monetary value and the stick to actually be a wand! Excited they were not eaten by sharks while in the water the group pressed onward into the cave.

They headed back to the banquet hall as from there was the only path they had not gone into yet. They went up to the only unopened door and listened in to the other side. They could hear Bugbears complaining about being hungry. The group began to devise a glorious scheme. 

Allora took out the dead rotting cow she had been carrying around now for a few weeks and laid it on the table. Gob using his illusion magic to make it look like a succulent cow ready to be eaten. Allora then doused the cow with poisons she had found previously. Krangor and Fox went up to the door to offer the blighted bovine to the bewildered bugbears. 

The bugbears at first questioned what these two were doing, but they explained them selves as slaves of nezcar, and that he had asked them to prepare a meal for them. They at first questioned the group and the quality of the meat but, Krangor and Fox tried to convince them everything was ok. Melfias then used his prestidigition to make the aroma of delicious steak fill the air and made the bugbears even more hungry. They demanded Melfias to kiss their rings before they would eat and Melfias did while having an evil smirk on his face. The bugbears then proceeded to pig out on the poisoned heifer. Allora and Galthetes hid under the tables as to spring an attack when the time was right. 

After 30 mins of eating, the bug bears began to get sick and Allora and Galthetes sprang into action. Galthetes tried to trip two of the bug bears and Allora began stabby stabby time. The bugbears were far to poisoned to put up to much of a fight and the group easily dispatched them. The group got more use out of a rotting cow carcass then most would have thought.

After this concluded the group continued on and found an open room with pillars and a locked door. The group went inside the open room and found a wizard, a couple bug bears, 4 spiders, and a statue with emeralds for eyes. The group began their assault. Melfias and Gob stayed in the hallway area shooting off spells to assist the group. Gob blessed the fighters of the group and then placed an area of grease to trip up the spiders. Melfias cast crown of madness on one of the spiders so that he may begin attack his friends. Allora ran up to the statue to go get those gleaming emerald eyes. Krangor got webbed in place, but luckily he had a weapon with long reach and was able to still attack the monsters. Fox sent Pantherny in to attack and she began shooting arrows at the bug bears. The drow wizard drank a potion of invisibility and started to shoot spells from the shadows. 

Allora was able to get up to the emerald eyes and giggled with glee as she snatched one out of the statue. As soon as she did this, the room began to crack and collapse. The falling rocks and debris took out Krangor and Galthetes and Pantherny. It also took out a bug bear and 2 spiders. Soon the mage tried to take advantage of this by climbing on the walls and shooting spells at the group. They were damaged and exhausted but it was time for Gob and Melfias to finally shine. First both quickly cast healing word on two of their fallen brethren. Then Melfias went and really fuck up the wizards day. He cast hold person and paralyzed the wizard in place while stuck to the wall about 15 feet in the air. While it was nice to have him not fucking with the group now the issue is no one really had the range to attack him in melee to do real damage… or so they thought….

With a glint in her eye and some pep in her step Allora scrambled down the statue, sprinted across the room dodging out of the way of the spider and bug bear, ran up the wall like some sorta ninja, and drove her short swords into the throat of the paralyzed drow wizard. She left a gaping hole that the wizard would never be able to recover from. He slowly bled out and died while still paralyzed and helpless and attached to the wall. The group turned their attention to the remaining bugbear and spider and made quick work of them. With everything dead the looted the bodies.   

With the group done fighting with the wizard and his cronies they all of the sudden heard a door slam and the sound of a scuffle. Inside the previously locked room they found two dwarven brothers both of which looked exactly the same, but one had a black eye. The group separated the twins and began questioning them. They asked them both things that they thought only the real brother would know, but both knew the answers to these questions. Eventually they figured that the real one would have a black eye from when the clone ran in and tried to steal his identity. The group figured fuck it and chopped off the head of the uninjured clone. andddd luckily he melted into the goo! The group got it right! With that they released the tied up brother and began their escape out of the mine! Gob spent some time identifying the objects they had found and discovered they had looted a ring of damage, a wand of magic missile, and a spider staff! The group left the mines triumphant excited to see the benefits this mine would bring them!

NEXT TIME ON VORPAL BLADES ZZZZ THE GROUP NOW HAS PARTIAL OWNERSHIP OF A BAD ASS MINE WHAT COULD THAT LEAD TO?! TIME FOR A VACATION!! WE JSUT SAVED A DOWN AND FOUGHT A BUNCH OF BITCHES!! GOT A MINE!! TIME TO GO RELAX AND DO WHATEVER WE WANT FOR A MONTH!! THERE IS ONLY REALLY 1 MATTER OF BUSINESS THAT REALLY IS A ISSUE AND THAT IS KILLING THAT FUCKING DRAGON!!! HE WILL FUCKING DIE! DIE DIE DIE!! WE HIT LEVEL 5 AND ARE NOW SO READY TO FUCK THAT DRAGONS DAY UP REAL FAST. BUT YA BACK TO TOWN NOW WE I CAN DO STUFF THROUGH CHAT CAUSE WE ARNT STUCK IN A DAMN CAVE WOO WOO!! GIANTS HERE WE COME!! AND WAIT HOW HAS FRANK BEEN WE HAVENT SEEN HIM A DAMN WHILE I HOPE HE IS OK!!

 

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